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As Per Usual or Per Normal (Or The Panda Story)

by Cas Timpeall 

John never woke up and had to deal with this reality from time to time. On one occasion he thought he was awake – but again a mistake – so he just got on with his day as per usual or per normal – that was also confusing – but he got on with it – and he couldn’t be late either way. 

He worked in the Time Construction Industry – the TCI- and he could not comprehend why he was the only other human that worked in the Industry – The only other human – as far as he knew – was also a guy named John – how odd- all the rest were Panda Bears ! 

One time – John asked his manager – Also John or AJ – as the Pandas called him– why he was still employed here – seeing as Pandas were far more time efficient. His manager – Also John – slightly coughed – as if to say to John – say nothing and be happy to still have your job – John said nothing – also for fear of losing his job – now was not the time. 

It was difficult for him to interact with the Pandas and he felt alone most of the time – in fact – the Pandas didn’t really know he was there at all! Perhaps that is why his office was at the very back of the official Clock-Work statue – with only two clocks on the wall – whereas all the other offices had at least four to six clocks in their office – depending on their rank- it was prejudice somehow – but – as usual or per normal – John just got on with it- time was of the essence. 

John had regular Panda language classes but he couldn’t quiet grasp it- and anyway – he didn’t see the point, as he didn’t need the language for his particular job – it was time specific you see – his job I mean – the language classes were sprung upon him sporadically – but he had to attend – it was compulsory and written into his contract – but it was written in Pandanese – the contract – and he had little choice but to believe it – until he could learn both written and spoken Pandenese. John argued that this was all too time-consuming and it always made him late. 

At one such lesson his instructor scorned him for being such a slow learner – and John was beaten badly with a bamboo stick. He did try ever so hard but Pandanese was just way beyond his mental cognitive scope – out of his range as it were. After one such beating, John went to his managers’ office – AJ- to discuss this ongoing problem and the abuse he was enduring at the hands of the impatient panda language teacher – or the IPLT as he was often called. 

The proceeding discussion came to no obvious conclusions and both Johns left the room – one of them feeling slightly more confused than the other – which happened from time to time when they met – or at the very least – occasionally. 

John worked continuously – around the clock as it were – and when he did get home his job was always on his mind- all the time – he tried so hard to wake up but it was not forthcoming. Waking up was always a failure – once he even took all the clocks off of the walls in his flat – a desperate attempt which proved to be a waste of time! But he never gave up on waking up one day – time is my enemy and my friend he thought – I must get on with it – as per normal or as per usual. 

On one specific morning John turned up late for work – a terrible crime in this business! And even worse considering his own permanent position in the firm.  He was immediately ordered to the manager’s office – Also John – he did try to dash but it took him some time to get there. Some of the pandas blocked his way on purpose – knowing that he was late – and even risking taking time out from their own important punctual jobs – which made John wonder why they would risk their own job just because of the hatred of the last humans – strange and untimely. 

John found out afterwards that the Pandas were incredibly jealous of his position and couldn’t understand why a Panda couldn’t do his job – it was a form of prejudice – and in fairness they did have a point – most humans were horrible and that is why the Pandas finally took over. But they knew they needed to keep a few for the Great Transformation – or GT as it was called. The GT took place after the Great Explosion – or the GE as it was called. Only a few humans survived the GE and most of them worked in menial jobs like making tea or sweeping the floors – Pandas were quite messy most of the time.

In any case – after several pushes and attempted trips, John made it to the manager’s office – AJ could see the harassment John endured on his way to his office – he took this into consideration before the scorning. He himself must also be careful as his position was not permanent and he was being constantly monitored by the senior pandas. This also made AJ weary and tired and from time to time he would snooze off. And as John finally reached the office, AJ was tired and asked John to excuse him while he had a quick nap before the scorning. John sat there incredibly jealous as he could never wake up – never mind get a bit of kip ! This guy was taking the piss, he thought. 

John rarely laughed although he was somewhat happy. It was partly down to the fact that he couldn’t wake up and this did become frustrating from time to time – but – on this occasion it did happen.